Subject: Self-introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Rachel Soh, I am a Year 1 mechanical engineering student at Singapore Institute of Technology taking your Critical Thinking and Communicating module.
I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic in 2023 with a diploma in mechanical engineering, specializing in biomedical engineering. My passion for engineering has deepened significantly since my time at Institute of Technical Education, where I graduated in 2020 with a certificate of merit in higher nitec in engineering with business. I find satisfaction in hands-on work, where I can tackle challenges and innovate by applying my knowledge and skills.
Apart from academics, I enjoy playing guitar and have been a member of the guitar ensemble since secondary school. I have performed at several events, including Teacher Days, Artsynergy in 2014 and 2016, Guitar Festival in 2017, and 2018 SG Perspective, where I had the pleasure to jam with Minister Ong Ye Kung. My CCA has taught me the value of teamwork because when words fail, Guitar speak's.
One of my strengths in communication is my ability to deliver presentations with confidence, especially when I have spent a substantial amount of time preparing seriously. My presentations are not only well researched and organized, but they are also visually appealing. Through thorough preparation, I ensure that I have an adequate understanding of the topics which allows me to effectively convey it. Furthermore, the impact of my speech is enhanced by my systematic approach to presentation slides, which includes clear images and logical design. These abilities help me to present information with confidence, engage my audience, and leave a lasting impression.
In contrast, while I am known to be lively and outgoing among my close friends, my ability in public speaking is constrained by my introverted characteristics. This leads me to have no confidence when I have to speak publicly. For instance, when I am in a new environment with unfamiliar faces, I tend to stay quite reserved, which might give off the impression that I am disinterested or aloof.
Therefore, for this module, I have two main goals. Firstly, I want to strengthen my communication skills so that I can be more effective in conveying ideas, information, and arguments through both written and oral communication. Secondly, I strive to build more confidence in my communication skills. Hence, I am looking forward to learning more about Critical Thinking and Communicating in your class.
Best Regards,
Rachel Soh
Hey rachel, your essay has the substance in terms of letting people have a brief intro bout yourself, however I feel like your main goals for the module could probably have been further expended upon, it feels abit abrupt of an ending, I felt that your 3rd paragraph regarding your interest and experience in music was great to let us know abit more about yourself, but i feel it could have been reduced as it wasnt really vital information, especially with the essay being only 300ish word, it might have been better to use the word count to expend on your goals in the class room instead, or make a more rounded conclusion statement.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Adam
Hi Adam, thank you for the valuable feedback on what I need to improve on. I will make the necessary changes to focus more on my main goal for this module.
DeleteRegards,
Rachel
heyo rachel, i like the flow of your letter. its organized and very smooth to read, however i do feel that regarding your interest in playing the guitar might not be necessary as there is a word limit of 300 words (para 3). the 2nd goal can be briefly be elaborated more. all in all, i really enjoy reading your letter :))
ReplyDeleteHi Sky, thank you for taking the time to read my letter and providing valuable feedback on what I need to take notes of. I'm glad to know that you enjoyed reading my letter.
DeleteRegards,
Rachel
Hey Rachel, i like that you provided enough evidences to support your points as well as the structure of your letter. It is easy to understand as every point is straightforward. However, I feel you can add in more details to your weaknesses and how you want to improve on them.
ReplyDeleteHi, thank you for the valuable feedback, I will take notes on adding more details about my weaknesses and how I want to improve them.
DeleteRegards,
Rachel
ReplyDeleteDear Rachel,
I really like this letter because it is full of surprises. In it we learn about you being a "hands on" person with a penchant for detail and a flair for doing research. These points don't surprise me. You're in SIT's MEC programme, after all.
What does surprise me is that you're an accomplished guitarist who has performed widely. That's excellent, and I love learning this. Why it surprises me is that you seem so shy and reserved in class that it's not easy for me to imagine you jamming on stage!
(Of course, as the classic Bo Diddley blues song says, "You cant judge a book by its cover: https://youtu.be/fAFSPHpHuUg?si=S8JtfMAZnz632brX )
I'm also amazed at the confidence that you refer to when describing your presentations skills, which -- as you deftly explain -- is based on your ability to create impressive slides. I look forward to seeing those!
More in line with my expectations is when you riff on your shyness. That we see in our lessons. I'm always hoping that you treat your classmates and me as you do your friends and become lively. That's my challenge to you!
In terms of language use, this is really a fine effort, with only a couple ares to take note of:
1. sentence structure (and also inconsistent use of caps)
-- My name is Rachel Soh, I am a Year 1 mechanical engineering student at Singapore Institute of Technology taking your Critical Thinking and Communicating module. >
2. use of caps
-- when words fail, Guitar speak's. > when words fail me, my guitar speaks.
-- I am looking forward to learning more about Critical Thinking and Communicating in your class. > ?
I look forward to seeing you embrace an opening up in your comm skills in our module. Why not start today?
Best wishes,
Brad
Hi Prof Brad, thank you for taking the time to read my letter and providing me with constructive feedback. I will try my best to move out of my comfort zone and improve my communication skills.
DeleteRegards,
Rachel